As I write, it is December 31st, the last day of 2012. The world did not end 10 days ago.... was I the only one that thought it would kind of take care of some problems if it did end? But I digress...
As this new year is about to begin, I find myself surprisingly optimistic. I long ago gave up New Year's resolutions in favor of trying to be mindful every day (well, most days) (well, many days) of health and good habits. And so, while I have no distinct promises I'm making, I am excited to see what happens in this new year. Last year, I had just left my career behind and had not yet found my way into my current employment. I hadn't even started looking for work yet, but I was still terrified, as I really had no idea what I was going to do to make money. This year, my freelance editing business is slowly starting to become more lucrative. For the first time this month, I made enough to a) not have to draw on my savings account, and b) pay off a little of the debt I'd let build up. I have enough projects lined up to keep this trend going for at least another couple months, and hopefully enough irons in the fire to bring in new work after that... This might actually turn into a real business!
I am also optimistic about my personal life. As I get better-paying projects and can actually take days off here and there, my husband and I have been able to spend more quality time together, and who knows! We may even start planning our belated honeymoon! Or at least take another trip to the coast if the honeymoon is still a little out of reach. And as I am able to relax, at least a little, about money, I am able to focus energy once again on personal growth. Unfortunately, that's the tough stuff... having money worries was a nice excuse to not work on my issues, just as working 90-hour weeks used to be. Here's to stripping away the excuses! Cheers (I think)!
These past two years have been a bit rough, with the one bright spot of my (awesome!) wedding as the exception proving the rule. There were some big decisions made and big leaps taken during these last couple years, and I was plagued by a lot of worry, doubt, and self-deprecating thoughts. I don't know that 2013 will necessarily be any easier, but I do know that I am getting sleep (in my own bed, no less!) every night, working steadily, communicating with my partner, and toiling away, however slowly, at self-knowledge and self-improvement. A very wise person reminded me recently that peace is not the absence of adversity and hard work; rather, it is the ability to have a calm mind in the midst of those things.
Namaste, everyone.
